On Late Blooming

This is not going to be the tale of "How Christy Developed at Age 23." Sorry if I got your hopes up!

Lately I've been thinking about how my life has progressed so far. I turned 33 yesterday, I passed my phlebotomy certification course the day before that, and it looks possible that we could move out of this podunk and on to bigger, better things. Then, I got to thinking about how is it people much younger than myself seem to have accomplished so, so much more in less time than I've been on this planet? I have no answer to that beyond they put in the effort. And maybe they went to a better system of schools and had more encouraging family than I did. But no blame here, just mere reflection.

I know I'm not alone in the whole "I don't know what I wanna be when I grow up" department. I do envy those people who have it all figured out by kindergarten. My sister is one of those types. Our brother probably was, too, seems like he was set on mechanic from an early age. They're both Capricorns. Draw your own mystical conclusions. Katie said early on she wanted to be a pediatrician. That has evolved into RN, which she will finish within the next year and a half I believe, then she will move on to a different job, where she can use those skills. Our brother, like our father, is a natural mechanic, and even though he no longer has the job of your typical mechanic, he has found what works for and interests him (and did so before he turned 30.) Meanwhile, I've been unemployed for nearly 2 years now, a chronic job hopper before that, and can't see myself even doing phlebotomy long-term. If I had gone by my abilities from childhood? I'd have probably gone to Vet school. I did threaten to go become a vet tech for a few years, but for whatever reason, never did that.

I think my biggest reasons for this stagnation have been fear of failure and fear of burning out. I'm a perfectionist, so it's a struggle to remember or even believe, that effort is not time wasted, even if you didn't do something as pristinely as you'd imagined. This bleeds into all areas of my life. Making cookies, playing a game, cleaning house, making dinner, even things like screwing up at work in front of the boss. I always feel the need to prove myself, and when I fall short of that, I will remember it for decades after, and continue to berate myself for it- even when I haven't seen whomever may have witnessed my failure in ages, and they likely didn't remember, anyway. For some reason (or combination of them), I never internalized that failure isn't the end of the world, and it's definitely not a good excuse to not finish something. Someone much smarter than I recently told us the story of how many times Thomas Edison failed in his creation of the lightbulb before he got it right. It was somewhere in the neighborhood of 970-something I believe. That is a lot of failure. And when someone poopooed his idea, saying "this will never work- it hasn't for the last 970+ tries," Mr. Edison merely told them that now he knows 970 things that won't work. It was more than he'd know if he hadn't even tried. And think about it, if he had let all that non-success get him down? Maybe we wouldn't have electric light, and so many, many other things we enjoy and take for granted now.

All that said, I've decided that 2014 is the year I stop holding myself back. Because really, it's me. Not family, not lack of money, not a dirty house or whatever other hundreds of excuses I could make. So if you're at a point in your life where you're tired of waiting for things to happen- get off your butt. Stop waiting. Make them happen. Things do not normally land in our laps from the sky. And if your life has not been the greatest lately? My sympathies, certainly, my last few years have been on the shitty side, but that doesn't mean that it has to continue (at least not the parts I can influence, any way. Much as I'd like to have the power to prevent death, I don't.) You can give life a steel toed salute to the balls, and make it your bitch this year. I don't do resolutions, but I have vowed to myself that 2014 is going to be as awesome as I am capable of making it. And even if it doesn't work out that way? No one will be able to say I didn't try. So this late bloomer to life is just starting to blossom.

Another Catch-Up Post

Just a quick pop in to let anyone who may actually be reading this, I'm still alive. Although, I did just get over a particularly rough bout of the flu. I'm fine, alive, well, freaking out over the not-too-distant future. Brian has tendered his resignation from his job of 7 years. I am still not quite finished with my phlebotomy course (plus, there's other frustrations related to that that I'm not sure I will ever widely share. Just a frustrating occurence.)

On a happier note, Christmas was lovely, not quite the same without my grandmother here to celebrate, and my other grandmother didn't have the usual get-together, which still feels off to me. I woke up sick the morning of my immediate family's Christmas, but it was still a good time. It was also the first Chinese food I've had since November. I'm toying with the idea of giving up meat for the billionth time in my life, and other than that, I'm in a not quite rut, but a place of doing a little more than merely trying to figure things out. Or maybe it only feels that way because I actually attended a class that could lead to employment, which is more than I've done since high school.

Hopefully soon I will be back to regular blogging, out of my semi-blahs. I have new makeup goodies to share, possibly a "what I got for Christmas" post (not sure I'm liking those! But I get the interest in what others received), and a new and improved lifestyle/diet change series. So check back soon! Hope your 2014 is going lovely so far :D

My Favorite Movies- Christmas Specials, Part Two

Join me now for the (not at all) dramatic conclusion to Christmas Specials, Part One!

(I have too much free time.)

How the Grinch Stole Christmas!
Oh, how I love the Grinch. A misunderstood, antisocial grump who lives in a cave with his dog, and believes he has the power to prevent an entire holiday from occurring. He has cojones to spare, but I guess when your heart is three sizes too small, you have a bit of extra room. I love the songs, the animation, and the reassurance that (despite my secularism) Christmas doesn't have to come from a store (much as I like that, too), but it is what you make of it. And there are some things that are more important than jing tinglers and who carnio fluxes. Also worth mentioning, my cousin Ashley has this crazed, lunatic smile she sometimes does, and I swear, it makes her look exactly like ol' Grinchy Poo when he's about to engage in some hardcore holiday thievery. You know the one. All his teeth are bared, his antennae (aren't they?) twirl, and he gives his most wickedy-grinchedy grin. It's pure Ashley, that grin. (Ashley does not normally resemble the Grinch. Just when she smiles while feeling particularly wicked.)

Frosty the Snowman
Of all the Rankin-Bass specials, this one has the most comedic appeal, thanks in large part to Jackie Vernon and Jimmy Durante. I always loved the part, after the kids have built Frosty and are shouting out possible names, the youngest one cries out "Oatmeal!" It gets me to this day. My memories tied to it are quite intertwined with also watching Twas the Night Before Christmas, and untangling strands upon strands of lights to put in windows and on the tree. Especially the color lights that had those plastic flower-shaped surrounds. Do they still make those? I always liked them best. Frosty is one of the only four specials made and aired in the 1960s that still airs today (others being Rudolph, Charlie Brown and the Grinch.)  Which explains why you may have never heard of Misters Vernon and Durante. I actually have a story about Jimmy Durante, courtesy of my dad and his brother (my Uncle Richard.) They grew up in/around Burbank in the 60s. One day, I'm not sure whether to be funny or out of genuine desire, they called a local radio station and requested some Jimmy Durante. The dj scoffed and told them no way, because "no one wants to hear Jimmy Durante these days." He was wrong, because none other than Jim Nabors called, and told him he did. This all played out over the airwaves (or so I've been told.) This is why I'm 32 years old, but understand references on a geriatric level. And more relevantly, Christmas isn't Christmas unless I've seen Frosty while decorating. It gets me in that mood.

A Charlie Brown Christmas
If you don't find yourself disgusted, at some point, with all things holiday-related, then you're either Martha Stewart, or you aren't doing it right. Charlie Brown speaks to the disillusioned soul within us all at this time of year. Luckily, Charlie had Linus to remind him, there is real meaning to the holiday season, and it's still there, even when everyone around you is concerned with their own self-serving desires and whims. I believe that is why this special endures. Our society is ever-increasingly driven to acquire the latest of everything (myself included), and seems to be hurtling further and further away from anything meaningful. For Charlie and Linus, it was the birth of Jesus and not letting commercialism ruin their holiday. For me, it's togetherness with family (even though they usually drive me crazy, we're usually able to reign it in for a day) and enjoying all the little, mundane parts of the Holidays that combine to make them special.

Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Of all the specials of all time that ever have aired anywhere, this one is my favorite. More than any other, it reminds me of my dad, making sure we saw it, even if it sometimes meant being a little bit late for a company Christmas party. Much like with Frosty, the holidays just aren't the same without Rudolph. My heart always hurt for the Misfit toys, especially the sad little doll, whose only flaw (according to Romeo Muller and a few websites) was that she didn't feel loved and had low self-esteem. I recall asking my parents what was wrong with her; they never had an answer, so I'd be sure to tell them "I think it's because she doesn't have a nose. But that's ok, because she can talk and cry!" Perhaps I was always secretly hoping to find her under the tree on Christmas morning? Overall, I love a good misfit story, and Rudolph is chock-full of 'em. My sister and I quote this all throughout the year (mainly King Moonracer's "come closer" and "footman! Show them to their chambers," and Sam's "Pull up an ice block.") I've always adored the style this was made in, the music is charmingly done, and should I ever have children, I will carry on the tradition of watching these guys whenever it airs. While it has very little to do with traditional Christmas themes, the idea of being yourself, warts and all, is one of my favorites.

It occurs to me that I have many, many more favorite holiday specials/movies. More than space here would allow. So, I'm considering a part three. Or doing something a bit more specific. Either way, hope you've enjoyed my lists of favorite Christmas specials! They may not be the most original or cutting-edge, but Christmas isn't always about that :) And that's a beautiful thing.

Catch Up

Haven't really posted a lot in the last several weeks, what with it being the holidays and all. I've been sick, been kicking ass in my phlebotomy certification course, and pretty much eating chips like they're about to stop being made.

Yeah, I'm all healthy and awesome and shit.

Haven't hopped back on the TAGT train yet, and I hate to say it's the plan for the new year, because I think new year's resolutions are kind of useless. It's less about feeling pressure to make a big change with the new year, and just the nice sort of lining up of the want to get back into my old healthy habits, and that sort of thing being a little easier to execute in January. No big whoop.

My other hopes for post-holiday madness will be starting my garden from seed- at an appropriate time of year. Last year, I tried it months after I should have, then I was gone helping my sister recover from a wreck. This year, I should be employed and unable to flit off to play Florence Nightingale for ailing relatives. If I'm here to actually look after seedlings and plants, then my hope is I'll be here to harvest the suckers and make preserves and such. I have at least a few plans for posts about that in the new year, so check back :)

Anyway, hopefully everyone's holiday season is not causing too much stress or weight gain. I have a few more Christmas related posts on the way, and possibly some recipes, and maybe some Christmas memories posts. Hope your December is lovely so far :D

My Favorite Movies- Holiday Specials, Part One

I have a secret. It's not a dark secret, not scandalous, and it would probably not in any way affect my future as a state senator. It doesn't involve wetting the bed, the natural color of my hair, or my undying adoration for Tom Petty. I love holiday movies, holiday specials, pretty much holiday anything. I hear your groans, the "we saw this from light years away!" protests. And I admit my transparency. I also admit, I friggin love holiday movies and shows. Here are my favorites, and why I love them so.

Christmas With the Kranks
The first time I saw this was just because it happened to be on tv, and I happen to hate channel surfing. It stars Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis as a couple who decide to take off Christmas, just this once, and the chaos that follows their decision. As much as I love Christmas, I can admit to wanting to just skip out on it and avoid the stress and the calories sometimes. If you don't find yourself tearing up a little when Luther gifts the Scheels then you probably have no soul and should probably be forced to watch Sarah MacLachlan ASPCA commercials until you grow one.

Bad Santa
Certainly not the warmest and fuzziest of all Christmas movies, but definitely one of the funniest. Billy Bob Thornton is Willie, a scuzzy, always sauced professional criminal, whose heist of choice is casing malls while playing Santa. He meets the naive, practically abandoned Thurman Merman, who attempts to befriend Willie, believing he is actually Santa. After learning Thurman's mother left, his father is "climbing mountains" (jailed for embezzlement), and his only guardian is his senile grandmother, Willie moves in. Thurman starts to grow on Willie, and he becomes a sort of father figure. Willie meets bartender Sue (Lauren Graham), gets blackmailed by head of mall security (Bernie Mac), and attempts the heist with his partners in crime, Marcus and Lois (Tony Cox and Lauren Tom), only to find out they have other ideas. Cops come, shots are fired, but in the end, we learn family isn't limited to the one you were born into.

Twas the Night Before Christmas
Based loosely (pretty loosely) on the Clement Clarke Moore poem, this is a Rankin-Bass cartoon about a clockmaker who decides to build a clock to entice Santa to town, after a group of punk-ass adolescent mice write a letter to the local paper, claiming Santa doesn't exist- and sign it "all of us." I loved this one as a child, as it and Frosty remind me of decorating the house and tree. And I also have always loved anthropomorphized mice. And how Albert realizes that sometimes, the adult thing is to have faith in magic.

Home Alone
It seems like everyone should know about this one, and that it only seems right that you see it at least three times every December. Seeing it as a kid made me kind of envious of Kevin, either way, really- he was either going to spend Christmas in Paris, or have his whole huge, lovely home all to himself. Not that he got to choose, but if I may be so bold as to overanalyze this movie, I think his options represent a dichotomy we must all feel, at some time- do we continue with the (possibly tired) traditions, or do we forge our own path to holiday happiness? Plus there's beating the baddies, a mysterious, creepy neighbor, and John Candy. And the house. There is something so early-nineties about it that has stayed with me all this time. I have house envy. It makes me want to move to whatever Chicago suburb this house is located in because house.so.purty. The house used in the film is actually in Winnetka, Illinois, and is currently a tourist attraction about "getting your house in the movies."


Trying to post all of my favorites into one entry apparently caused some hiccup with my computer or Blogger, so I have to split this post into 2. So stay tuned for the epic conclusion of "Holiday Specials, Part One."

Thoughtful Gifts for the Hard to Buy For

I'd already written up a gift guide for hard to buy for moms, then realized, my ideas are actually helpful for everyone. I just happen to have a HTBF mother (my dad is the total opposite), so I have a couple of decades of figuring out what to buy for her under my belt. Not that the road hasn't been paved with last minute dvds and random tchotchkes,  but I think I've come a long way as a gifter. So here in time for Black Friday, are my tips for gift giving, for the hard to buy for in your life.

1. Just ask them what they want. Yes, this is glaringly obvious. No, I don't mean it at all in a smart assy way. I realize that sometimes, we so want to surprise loved ones with spectacular gifts, that we overwhelm ourselves trying to find the perfect one. Then, we wind up scrambling last minute and wind up with something that may not be anywhere near what we'd intended. So, instead of trying to be sly, just ask. If you want to surprise them (and who doesn't, really?) discuss it in a way that is less like trying to suss out info, and more like a general conversation. Something like "I've always wanted the Charmkins windmill, but ebay is ridiculous. How about you?" 
2. Set up a family wishlist. This is especially helpful for families with younger kids/teens at home, or families who do a name/gift exchange. Amazon is a great option for general wishlists (you can even organize items by how badly you want them), and if you hate being out and about during the holiday season, you can shop right from home. Elfster is a secret Santa organizer site that is simple to use and can be linked to your Facebook account. You simply invite family/friends to the exchange, they answer anonymously asked questions and/or fill out a wishlist, names are drawn and gifts exchanged. It's Secret Santa without the hassle.
3. Answer these questions- What do they hate to do, what do they love to do, what have they always wanted to try? My mother's lone request all these years has been for a clean house. There are several reasons why that never happens (she refuses to do it herself, chief among them.) So I say, if you want to know what a person truly wants, answer these three questions. Delving further into things, knowing what they value most- services, experiences, or things- is also key. So if your mother hates cleaning, is always complaining about it, pay for a maid service. If she is unwilling to allow strangers into her home, volunteer to do it yourself (and actually DO it, don't say you will then reneg because you're broke. Or cheap.) If someone is interested in developing a skill, experiencing a once in a lifetime event, or just would like a weekend away (if your budget allows), figure that thing out and make it happen. This one also allows for time spent with loved ones- which is important to many, and free.
4. Let gift cards supplement, not supply. I am a fan of gift cards. As someone who has never been good at on command wish listing (and who is prone to whims), they take the headache out of things. But they can be boring, and I have heard a few people complain that it's no fun to buy them. With that in mind, I say let a gift card add to the overall gift, and not be the entire gift. If your sister hangs out at the library, figure out her favorite authors or genres, buy her a book- and tuck in a B&N or Starbucks card. If your brother loves cooking outdoors, get him a cast iron cookware set and a card for Bass Pro Shops, Cabela's or Lowes. If your parents never make time for themselves, buy them an outfit and add a certificate to their favorite restaurant. You can still give gift cards, but putting a little more thought into a gift is always appreciated.
5. Give of yourself. This one kind of ties into #3, but with a more DIY angle. If you are a talented photographer, graphic designer, knitter, baker, put those skills to use! If you are good with editing and design software and know a couple of new parents, design a birth announcement, print it on heavy card stock and have it framed (I've done a couple using Picasa, and I've seen others on Etsy.) If you are handy with a camera, take a family portrait or offer to photograph your nieces, nephews, cats-in-law, etc. Cook a gourmet meal, offer to babysit, wherever you see a need you could fill, offer to do that, and do it.
6. DIY Gift baskets. No matter what you could offer to do for some people, there will always be those that prefer things over all. This is ok! There's a reason gift sets abound during the holidays. They are easy. Many have brand recognition. And some have hefty price tags. If you have many to buy for on a limited budget, try buying mini sets and breaking them up. Stores like Bath and Body Works, and many cosmetics brands offer these kinds of sets every year. If you have several teen girls to buy for (or even older women! as long as they like health and beauty products, this will please), buy several sets or travel sized products, a cosmetics bag (Wal Mart and Target have many affordable and stylish options), and round it out with little things like small candles, chocolates (or other candies) and nail polish. You could even do a more specific set, such as a pampering routine, mani-pedis, skincare, hair styling. I suppose girls can be easy to buy for :) If you have more guys to gift, movies, video games, gadget accessories (who isn't always looking for a charger cord?!), and even grooming kits are good ideas. My assumption is that you probably know the people you're buying for well enough to know what they are into. So if you have a brother, cousin or nephew who is more into cooking than power tools, get him a cookbook and some kitchen tools. And stuff em in a crockpot or a heavy-duty enameled cast iron pot that will last them forever. The options are pretty much endless here. 
7. Big Ticket Ideas. If your dad's dream has always been to restore an old car, but he never looks for one, get yourself online and look for one. Between Freecycle, Craigslist, and local classifieds, you might just luck up and find something that someone wants to get rid of cheap (or maybe free! My brother was once given a 1950 Ford car. You just never know unless you look!) If you have a big or even limitless budget, pay for a vacation for someone. If you know someone who is always doing for others and never takes "me time," pay for them a room for a weekend. (Don't book it before you give it to them, unless you know their schedule backwards, forwards, and upside down. You wouldn't want to spend hundreds on a trip that can't be taken.) If you live near any hotel-casinos, and know your recipient will have no issue with the gambling, you can also provide a meal for them, perhaps a massage, room service, or gift card to an onsite store. If someone's idea of getting away from it all actually involves leaving everything behind, consider renting a cabin, or even a room in a b&b. If it's going to be in an area you're not that familiar with, be sure to research beforehand, and create a list of suggestions. Restaurants, historical sites, shops, theaters, museums, spas...base it on their interests, and schedule them a trip.

I hope you found this list helpful! It's not original information, but I think it's relevant and good info, and hopefully it gets your creative gifting juices flowing! Comment below your creative gift ideas!

Gettting Back on the Horse

So, the last two weeks have been kind of a crapshoot, healthy habits-wise, and I'm tired of feeling like...crap.

To avoid the usual rambling post of  "Gee, I hope I do better next time!" I'm saying this: I intend to be back on TAGT this coming Monday. Perhaps this is nuts, given that Thanksgiving is four days later, but I've never really gained weight during the holidays (and if nothing else, I can call it my refuel meal. At least the things I like to eat aren't too far from the plan, anyway.)

I'll not only be restarting the Think and Grow Thin plan, I also plan to kind of do a sort of review of sorts of each chapter. Maybe something like "this works for me, this doesn't, you might try this." I honestly have not found that much info on this book or plan online, outside of Amazon reviews. I'll do (hopefully) shorter recaps of each day, any recipes I try, and just any sort of helpful tidbit I may stumble upon.

As for my previous entries, I think I am going to delete them, and maybe post a summarization of why it didn't work out the first time around. I believe in being honest about my failures, holding myself accountable, and if it helps someone else to know that I tried, failed, but have decided to try again, then I'm totally happy with how this all worked out, good, bad and ugly.

So check back Monday, when I intend/hope to have begun anew :) A month off, but better late than never.