My Favorite Movies- Christmas Specials, Part Two

Join me now for the (not at all) dramatic conclusion to Christmas Specials, Part One!

(I have too much free time.)

How the Grinch Stole Christmas!
Oh, how I love the Grinch. A misunderstood, antisocial grump who lives in a cave with his dog, and believes he has the power to prevent an entire holiday from occurring. He has cojones to spare, but I guess when your heart is three sizes too small, you have a bit of extra room. I love the songs, the animation, and the reassurance that (despite my secularism) Christmas doesn't have to come from a store (much as I like that, too), but it is what you make of it. And there are some things that are more important than jing tinglers and who carnio fluxes. Also worth mentioning, my cousin Ashley has this crazed, lunatic smile she sometimes does, and I swear, it makes her look exactly like ol' Grinchy Poo when he's about to engage in some hardcore holiday thievery. You know the one. All his teeth are bared, his antennae (aren't they?) twirl, and he gives his most wickedy-grinchedy grin. It's pure Ashley, that grin. (Ashley does not normally resemble the Grinch. Just when she smiles while feeling particularly wicked.)

Frosty the Snowman
Of all the Rankin-Bass specials, this one has the most comedic appeal, thanks in large part to Jackie Vernon and Jimmy Durante. I always loved the part, after the kids have built Frosty and are shouting out possible names, the youngest one cries out "Oatmeal!" It gets me to this day. My memories tied to it are quite intertwined with also watching Twas the Night Before Christmas, and untangling strands upon strands of lights to put in windows and on the tree. Especially the color lights that had those plastic flower-shaped surrounds. Do they still make those? I always liked them best. Frosty is one of the only four specials made and aired in the 1960s that still airs today (others being Rudolph, Charlie Brown and the Grinch.)  Which explains why you may have never heard of Misters Vernon and Durante. I actually have a story about Jimmy Durante, courtesy of my dad and his brother (my Uncle Richard.) They grew up in/around Burbank in the 60s. One day, I'm not sure whether to be funny or out of genuine desire, they called a local radio station and requested some Jimmy Durante. The dj scoffed and told them no way, because "no one wants to hear Jimmy Durante these days." He was wrong, because none other than Jim Nabors called, and told him he did. This all played out over the airwaves (or so I've been told.) This is why I'm 32 years old, but understand references on a geriatric level. And more relevantly, Christmas isn't Christmas unless I've seen Frosty while decorating. It gets me in that mood.

A Charlie Brown Christmas
If you don't find yourself disgusted, at some point, with all things holiday-related, then you're either Martha Stewart, or you aren't doing it right. Charlie Brown speaks to the disillusioned soul within us all at this time of year. Luckily, Charlie had Linus to remind him, there is real meaning to the holiday season, and it's still there, even when everyone around you is concerned with their own self-serving desires and whims. I believe that is why this special endures. Our society is ever-increasingly driven to acquire the latest of everything (myself included), and seems to be hurtling further and further away from anything meaningful. For Charlie and Linus, it was the birth of Jesus and not letting commercialism ruin their holiday. For me, it's togetherness with family (even though they usually drive me crazy, we're usually able to reign it in for a day) and enjoying all the little, mundane parts of the Holidays that combine to make them special.

Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Of all the specials of all time that ever have aired anywhere, this one is my favorite. More than any other, it reminds me of my dad, making sure we saw it, even if it sometimes meant being a little bit late for a company Christmas party. Much like with Frosty, the holidays just aren't the same without Rudolph. My heart always hurt for the Misfit toys, especially the sad little doll, whose only flaw (according to Romeo Muller and a few websites) was that she didn't feel loved and had low self-esteem. I recall asking my parents what was wrong with her; they never had an answer, so I'd be sure to tell them "I think it's because she doesn't have a nose. But that's ok, because she can talk and cry!" Perhaps I was always secretly hoping to find her under the tree on Christmas morning? Overall, I love a good misfit story, and Rudolph is chock-full of 'em. My sister and I quote this all throughout the year (mainly King Moonracer's "come closer" and "footman! Show them to their chambers," and Sam's "Pull up an ice block.") I've always adored the style this was made in, the music is charmingly done, and should I ever have children, I will carry on the tradition of watching these guys whenever it airs. While it has very little to do with traditional Christmas themes, the idea of being yourself, warts and all, is one of my favorites.

It occurs to me that I have many, many more favorite holiday specials/movies. More than space here would allow. So, I'm considering a part three. Or doing something a bit more specific. Either way, hope you've enjoyed my lists of favorite Christmas specials! They may not be the most original or cutting-edge, but Christmas isn't always about that :) And that's a beautiful thing.

My Favorite Movies- Holiday Specials, Part One

I have a secret. It's not a dark secret, not scandalous, and it would probably not in any way affect my future as a state senator. It doesn't involve wetting the bed, the natural color of my hair, or my undying adoration for Tom Petty. I love holiday movies, holiday specials, pretty much holiday anything. I hear your groans, the "we saw this from light years away!" protests. And I admit my transparency. I also admit, I friggin love holiday movies and shows. Here are my favorites, and why I love them so.

Christmas With the Kranks
The first time I saw this was just because it happened to be on tv, and I happen to hate channel surfing. It stars Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis as a couple who decide to take off Christmas, just this once, and the chaos that follows their decision. As much as I love Christmas, I can admit to wanting to just skip out on it and avoid the stress and the calories sometimes. If you don't find yourself tearing up a little when Luther gifts the Scheels then you probably have no soul and should probably be forced to watch Sarah MacLachlan ASPCA commercials until you grow one.

Bad Santa
Certainly not the warmest and fuzziest of all Christmas movies, but definitely one of the funniest. Billy Bob Thornton is Willie, a scuzzy, always sauced professional criminal, whose heist of choice is casing malls while playing Santa. He meets the naive, practically abandoned Thurman Merman, who attempts to befriend Willie, believing he is actually Santa. After learning Thurman's mother left, his father is "climbing mountains" (jailed for embezzlement), and his only guardian is his senile grandmother, Willie moves in. Thurman starts to grow on Willie, and he becomes a sort of father figure. Willie meets bartender Sue (Lauren Graham), gets blackmailed by head of mall security (Bernie Mac), and attempts the heist with his partners in crime, Marcus and Lois (Tony Cox and Lauren Tom), only to find out they have other ideas. Cops come, shots are fired, but in the end, we learn family isn't limited to the one you were born into.

Twas the Night Before Christmas
Based loosely (pretty loosely) on the Clement Clarke Moore poem, this is a Rankin-Bass cartoon about a clockmaker who decides to build a clock to entice Santa to town, after a group of punk-ass adolescent mice write a letter to the local paper, claiming Santa doesn't exist- and sign it "all of us." I loved this one as a child, as it and Frosty remind me of decorating the house and tree. And I also have always loved anthropomorphized mice. And how Albert realizes that sometimes, the adult thing is to have faith in magic.

Home Alone
It seems like everyone should know about this one, and that it only seems right that you see it at least three times every December. Seeing it as a kid made me kind of envious of Kevin, either way, really- he was either going to spend Christmas in Paris, or have his whole huge, lovely home all to himself. Not that he got to choose, but if I may be so bold as to overanalyze this movie, I think his options represent a dichotomy we must all feel, at some time- do we continue with the (possibly tired) traditions, or do we forge our own path to holiday happiness? Plus there's beating the baddies, a mysterious, creepy neighbor, and John Candy. And the house. There is something so early-nineties about it that has stayed with me all this time. I have house envy. It makes me want to move to whatever Chicago suburb this house is located in because house.so.purty. The house used in the film is actually in Winnetka, Illinois, and is currently a tourist attraction about "getting your house in the movies."


Trying to post all of my favorites into one entry apparently caused some hiccup with my computer or Blogger, so I have to split this post into 2. So stay tuned for the epic conclusion of "Holiday Specials, Part One."

Holiday Tv Specials Schedule

Just posting a head's up and a link- if you look forward to holiday specials every year, make sure to bookmark this site- Holiday Tv Specials Schedule. I've been referencing it every year since about 2006 (it is updated annually.) Be sure to catch your old favorites, and check out new offerings from Hallmark, ABC Family, and the major networks. I'm looking forward to the Thanksgiving Day Parade, the Muppets/Lady Gaga Thanksgiving special and Carrie Underwood in the NBC remake of The Sound of Music. 

Are you ready for the holiday season to be in full swing? Or are you waiting for January 2nd? Comment below!

**I am not affiliated with Chiff.com, I'm just really fond of their website**

Summer Favorites

Being a chubbster, one can (correctly) assume, I am no fan of the heat. Humidity makes me want to punch kittens. Combine the two, and you've got yourself the right conditions for Satan's taint. Oh don't act shocked I said taint in a public place, you should hear me cursing at the self checkouts in WalMart. That said, there are some things I do actually kind of like about the season- swimming, camping, the warm breezes at night, and looking forward to fall. Which, let's face it, is my main object of seasonal adoration. Sweaters and boots and corduroy, yes please.

That said, here is my list of things I have enjoyed this past summer. Not that it's over yet. And not that I'm not wishing it were. I've come to accept it as a part of life, and maybe, just maybe, when I am a more fit person, I will enjoy it more, because the minute I am of a proportionate height/weight/muscle combo, I will parade naked. Or, at the very least, in a cute, skimpy outfit, because, why not? Here's the list :)

• Queso con Mambo, Sao Paulo's, Austin. I could eat this frequently and not get tired. Fatter, sure, but I'm seriously debating whether or not that is a bad thing.
• Youtube beauty vloggers. ThatGirlShaeXO. Vintage orTacky. Grav3yardgirl. Leighannsays. XSparkage. Dkycutie78. Not my entire list of channels I've subscribed to, but these ladies make up the bulk of my watching time. I want a cupcakes and makeup party with them for Christmas.
• Not Your Mother's Beach Babe Texturizing Sea Salt spray. It smells really nice. It does provide texture, like bedhead, imho, and it will bring out any natural curl you have. Since I have little to none of that, I've used it before twisting my hair into 2 sections on top of my head, and going to sleep like that. The next morning, I have mermaid-worthy waves/curls. Sadly, I tried to make them stick around with NYM'S volumizing hair spray. Not a good plan. So yes, this works, I like it, but if you want the look you're after to stick around, use some good old fashioned max hold hairspray with it.
• Pastel Nails. I'm pale, and probably shouldn't wear neon colors. So my nails have mostly rocked the summer as though it were still spring. Except for the weeks I've worn Sally Hansen Complete Manicure in Mermaid's Tale. Let's just all agree now, summer= mermaids, mmkay? I also love Zoya's Pixie Dust in Liberty. I love blues hues.
• I've really enjoyed smelling like Pacifica's Wakiki Pikake (which I also scored a tube of the body butter @ TJ Maxx recently for $8!), Ulta's Creamy Coolada Crackling Sparkle Mousse and Dragonfruit Parfait lotion, and Escada Especially, despite the fact that it is not too long-lasting. It's light and sparkling and pretty, which is perfect for summer really, it's just got the lasting power of a sparkler. And as always, Pacifica's Island Vanilla, which is good year-round in my world.
• When I've applied my face, I've reached for my Naked 2 and Fun palettes, a Wet n' Wild mascara, the name of which escapes me (released earlier this year I think. Skinny, purple tube. Lengthening, I am almost positive), Pacifica's Berry Guava lip balm, Nyx Matte Lip Cream in Milan, Nyx Retractable liner in Deep purple, shadows in aqua/teal shades, and Palladio blotting papers. A few new items to this (meaning, I just got them within the last 2 weeks) are Nyx's Butter gloss, a Revlon Kissable Balm Stain, and Rimmel's Stay Glossy 3D gloss. I love the Nyx glosses, especially Strawberry Parfait on top of the Balm Stain in Sweetheart. It's a bold, hot pink, which I would have to say is my other lip signature for the summer so far.
• Accessory-wise, I've gone from dangling earrings to smaller (but not tiny) ones. My favorites are a pair shaped like anchors, in a blue and white stripe, that remind me of something Betsey Johnson would have designed. The others are some pyramid and round studs, of varying degrees of sparkle, that I got at Lane Bryant (which, your size or not, they have some seriously cute jewelry.)
• On the tv, Breaking Bad. Almost nothing but. I would get into a show just before its final season, but my god, chemistry and meth and crime after crime have never been so interesting to me before. I still have the occasional fling with the trash coming out of TLC, and the new Arrested Development episodes on Netflix. Netflix is usually it, as far as my viewing habits go. Oh, and True Blood, except I think Jesus doesn't want me to watch it during any season of it. I saw the first two episodes, then no more satellite until last week. Just in time for the last two. No spoilers, but seriously?! What the hell, True Blood? What the hell?

I think this about wraps up my summer favorites, and what a long list! Which is probably a good thing. Maybe my days of summer grumpiness are soon to be a memory. I am hoping, by next summer, we'll have moved to Austin, I will be in a better place, physically, and I discover plenty more favorites to share :) Hope you have had an exciting summer!

Dirty Movies #2: Halloween, the Sequel

Halloween is days away still, which means avoiding trick-or-treaters, and going for Chinese. Traditions are life, people. So here is part two of my dirty movies- Halloween edition post. Enjoy ;)

Yeah, Zombie Walk 04!!

Shaun of the Dead

I really am not into zombies. Like, at all. You will likely never catch me watching The Walking Dead, Night of the Living Dead, or Sister Wives. (what, I never said every thing in these lists would be relevant to each other.) I once lied at a slumber party that I was not allowed to watch horror movies, just to avoid having to watch NOTLD. I also kind of love to hate the Thriller video. That said, I love love love Shaun of the Dead. Sure, it's gory, there are droves of the undead all over, and they're feeling kinda bitey. But at the heart of this story is just a guy, his best mate, and the woman he loves. And her annoying friends. And his bastard step-dad. And irritating roommate. This is a real piece of the human condition, people! But, y'know, with zombies. It's funny, it's British, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost can do no wrong, and it definitely made me want to always have a shovel handy.

Rose Red?? More like poop brown!

Rose Red

I try to not get into many miniseries, for the fact that I tend to forget about them somewhere around the second night. That's also what happened with Rose Red, so it took me a long time to see it. And to this day, I can't say that I have seen it all the way through all at once, but it's a goal. I have seen it all, piecemeal, and it is a favorite. Haunted house, psychic kid, investigative group, secrets, secrets, secrets...it has everything. And Bones! And it reminds me a lot of the next movie...

You think that fireplace is creepy now....ha ha

The Haunting

This one is a remake of a 1963 movie of the same name, and are both based on a book, The Haunting of Hill House, published 1959 (which is probably also the basis of at least 90 other movies with similar titles.) In this, a rag tag group of insomniacs- meek Nell, bi Theodora, and duuuuude, Luke- are participating in what they believe is a study on their insomnia. Another house with a secret, plus a doctor with an agenda, an ancestral connection to the house, and murdered children, however, mean this is more than just a few nights trying to sleep in a creepy house. A few...unpleasant...physical things will likely make you recoil a bit, but the movie is not super scary, so much as a wistful, coming home story. But with ghosts and murder and human guinea pigs, of sorts. 

Oh, this old thing? Yeah, it was part of Tiffany's "Bloodletting" collection.

Interview With the Vampire

I have seen this (also at Dinnah's...I miss her mom's movie collection!) And I have read the book. It may be cliche to like Anne Rice and Stephen King, but meh. What I do not particularly care for, is Tom Cruise, but in this, he really never looked better. I also like period sets, and this does not disappoint. I do not like having my wrists fucked with, so scenes like the above image, really make me cringe. But what is a horror movie without a few wanna-puke-inducing moments? I have the same issue with True Blood (that, and Marni. What the hell. Really?!) I hope to catch this one on one of the various channels showing it lately, as I haven't seen it for a bit, and really, who is a more lovably messed up vamp than Louis? 

I'm trying to avoid a miles-long post, so that's it for this time. Til next time, have yourself a scary little day!

Dirty Movies #1: Halloween Edition

I am not much of a movie watcher. I hate theaters (panic attacks), Blockbusters everywhere have closed their doors, and I generally fall asleep during them. Seriously, it took me about a decade to see all of Uncle Buck. I am not without my favorites, and I have watched the same twenty or so movies many, many times. A trait from my parents, no doubt, as my father has probably watched The Outlaw Josey Wales oh, every time it has ever aired on tv. Believe me when I say, it was a lot.

When I was about half my current age, plus a few years and a driver's license, I lived for Blockbuster runs. Even if it wasn't actually TO a legit BB store. My mom once refused, in front of god and everyone, in the middle of our local chain, to ever go there, ever, because they wanted her credit card info on the BB card form. Never mind she gave that out to, oh, every other retailer in the area, Blockbuster was so not getting her shit. So when I was able, I got my own, and proceeded to rent The Craft, Welcome to the Dollhouse, and Drop Dead Gorgeous fifty million times. I have a trophy. I was also a fan of Slums of Beverly Hills and But I'm a Cheerleader! So I liked Natasha Lyonne before she was all hot mess. Doesn't mean I bat for the other team, cashier who bore a striking resemblance to Rupaul out of drag, mmmkay??

Repetitive movie rentals aside, and once I'd outgrown my fear of horror movies- another post for another day- I usually made a beeline for the horror section. Less chance that all copies of Marvin's Room would be rented. As far as horror goes, I love anything that involves ghosts. I am all about the supernatural. Monsters are fine, except for zombies, I have liked vampires since childhood, and if anyone does comedy with horror well, then they have my undying (undead?) devotion. Here's the list!

Habbudduh fwabbudduh bwuh bwuh bwuh

The People Under the Stairs

So, I actually rented this one maybe once or twice, every other time, it was on TNT, when Joe Bob Briggs hosted whatever late night movie show that was. I lived for this movie. Suspense, adoptive parents, secrets, old ass houses with a sinister past, A.J. Langer...it had everything I was looking for in a movie in 1997 (and it is by Wes Craven, who I have loved since Nightmare Cafe.) I haven't watched it in more than a decade, and it's possible the soundtrack hasn't aged well, but Roach will forever have a place in my heart. And some Progressive commercials.

Shit, my Tide to Go is empty!

Carrie

This was another one from the "hardly rented but always on TNT" bin. Now, I do love Stephen King. I will read his books, I will watch his movies, and I will forever wish he had a better ending for IT. Not that spiders aren't creepy, but I digress. Sissy Spacek starred in this, about a girl with a crazy mother and a secret. It was the 70s, a simpler time, where bullying a naked girl in the school showers was looked upon as harmless fun after gym class. No big, right? Wrong. You don't fuck with Carrie. If she weren't telekinetic, she could have sicced her mom on you, and called it a day. Instead, she's a real do-it-yourself-er, and took matters into her own hands, and made bbq out of everyone. If you get nothing else out of this movie, besides "I should really be nice to the quiet outcast," at least enjoy Piper Laurie's infamous "they're all gonna laugh at you!" I know I have.

Come play with us....we have Trivial Pursuit...

The Shining

I originally saw this at Dinnah's house, way way back in high school, because her mom owned lots of horror movies. It was glorious. Not only is this movie balls to the wall frightening, it is potently quotable. I'm fairly obnoxious, so quotability is a quality I look for in a film. I wish I had never seen it, so I could see it again for the first time. Dinnah and I were laughing nervously, almost shrieking in fear, and I think we were trying to climb into each others' laps toward the end, because Jack Torrance was after everyone. There have been maybe two remakes, one for tv, but I have not watched it, probably won't, and regret not getting this from the $5 bin last time I saw it at Wal Mart. 

Yeah, I can't believe a palmful of Dep and half a can of Aqua Net is keeping her hair like that, either.

The Gate

This was released when I was still too young to be allowed to see anything without a G rating. Despite my strong dislike for horror as a child, the ads for this made it look too good to miss, but my mom swiftly put the kibosh on it. We probably saw The Aristocats instead. And I did not see The Gate until 1998. I watched it the night of my 17th birthday with two friends, and while this movie was not that scary then, the hair was pretty terrifying. And the little demons bore a striking resemblance to my dog, Psycho. Those are more or less all I recall of that, besides playing records backwards, metal nerd kid, young Stephen Dorff, and the giant hole (the gate) in the backyard. It's not the greatest movie, and certainly was not what I was hoping for in 1987, but if you like to laugh at dated movies (and insanely high, geometric hairstyles) then go find this movie. It is allegedly being remade, and could really be done well, what with improved special effects. And they could reuse the little creatures from Guillermo Del Toro's Don't be Afraid of the Dark. This economy is hard on all of us.

There's nothing under your bed, trust me, I was just there...

Don't Go to Sleep

Last up is a little gem I saw on vhs back when my mom babysat like every kid in the neighborhood. Between this and Old Yeller, the tape was probably personally worn out by moi. In DGTS, we find a typical family starting over after the loss of their eldest daughter, Jenny. They are moving out of L.A. and into grandma's (Ruth Gordon, love her in this) house in the country. Which appeared to be the outskirts of L.A.? I think Aaron Spelling confused suburbs for country. For younger daughter Mary, however, all is not well, as she is soon plagued by noises and general creepiness each night. Is it Jenny? Is it life in an old house? Or is Mary experiencing a psychotic break? What we know for sure is, people are dropping like flies around Miss Mary. It's not super scary, but the suspense is there, and in my opinion, pretty good for a tv movie from 1982. I have seen this on Youtube (you have to watch it in 10 minute chunks last I looked) but it's worth a look if you like a little bit of psychological suspense with your ghost stories. 

I'm considering a part two to this post, maybe worst of scary movies (ahem, Eyes of Fire) or possibly more of the horror flicks I have known and loved. Off to think about this some more!