When I was about half my current age, plus a few years and a driver's license, I lived for Blockbuster runs. Even if it wasn't actually TO a legit BB store. My mom once refused, in front of god and everyone, in the middle of our local chain, to ever go there, ever, because they wanted her credit card info on the BB card form. Never mind she gave that out to, oh, every other retailer in the area, Blockbuster was so not getting her shit. So when I was able, I got my own, and proceeded to rent The Craft, Welcome to the Dollhouse, and Drop Dead Gorgeous fifty million times. I have a trophy. I was also a fan of Slums of Beverly Hills and But I'm a Cheerleader! So I liked Natasha Lyonne before she was all hot mess. Doesn't mean I bat for the other team, cashier who bore a striking resemblance to Rupaul out of drag, mmmkay??
Repetitive movie rentals aside, and once I'd outgrown my fear of horror movies- another post for another day- I usually made a beeline for the horror section. Less chance that all copies of Marvin's Room would be rented. As far as horror goes, I love anything that involves ghosts. I am all about the supernatural. Monsters are fine, except for zombies, I have liked vampires since childhood, and if anyone does comedy with horror well, then they have my undying (undead?) devotion. Here's the list!
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| Habbudduh fwabbudduh bwuh bwuh bwuh |
The People Under the Stairs
So, I actually rented this one maybe once or twice, every other time, it was on TNT, when Joe Bob Briggs hosted whatever late night movie show that was. I lived for this movie. Suspense, adoptive parents, secrets, old ass houses with a sinister past, A.J. Langer...it had everything I was looking for in a movie in 1997 (and it is by Wes Craven, who I have loved since Nightmare Cafe.) I haven't watched it in more than a decade, and it's possible the soundtrack hasn't aged well, but Roach will forever have a place in my heart. And some Progressive commercials.
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| Shit, my Tide to Go is empty! |
Carrie
This was another one from the "hardly rented but always on TNT" bin. Now, I do love Stephen King. I will read his books, I will watch his movies, and I will forever wish he had a better ending for IT. Not that spiders aren't creepy, but I digress. Sissy Spacek starred in this, about a girl with a crazy mother and a secret. It was the 70s, a simpler time, where bullying a naked girl in the school showers was looked upon as harmless fun after gym class. No big, right? Wrong. You don't fuck with Carrie. If she weren't telekinetic, she could have sicced her mom on you, and called it a day. Instead, she's a real do-it-yourself-er, and took matters into her own hands, and made bbq out of everyone. If you get nothing else out of this movie, besides "I should really be nice to the quiet outcast," at least enjoy Piper Laurie's infamous "they're all gonna laugh at you!" I know I have.
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| Come play with us....we have Trivial Pursuit... |
The Shining
I originally saw this at Dinnah's house, way way back in high school, because her mom owned lots of horror movies. It was glorious. Not only is this movie balls to the wall frightening, it is potently quotable. I'm fairly obnoxious, so quotability is a quality I look for in a film. I wish I had never seen it, so I could see it again for the first time. Dinnah and I were laughing nervously, almost shrieking in fear, and I think we were trying to climb into each others' laps toward the end, because Jack Torrance was after everyone. There have been maybe two remakes, one for tv, but I have not watched it, probably won't, and regret not getting this from the $5 bin last time I saw it at Wal Mart.
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| Yeah, I can't believe a palmful of Dep and half a can of Aqua Net is keeping her hair like that, either. |
The Gate
This was released when I was still too young to be allowed to see anything without a G rating. Despite my strong dislike for horror as a child, the ads for this made it look too good to miss, but my mom swiftly put the kibosh on it. We probably saw The Aristocats instead. And I did not see The Gate until 1998. I watched it the night of my 17th birthday with two friends, and while this movie was not that scary then, the hair was pretty terrifying. And the little demons bore a striking resemblance to my dog, Psycho. Those are more or less all I recall of that, besides playing records backwards, metal nerd kid, young Stephen Dorff, and the giant hole (the gate) in the backyard. It's not the greatest movie, and certainly was not what I was hoping for in 1987, but if you like to laugh at dated movies (and insanely high, geometric hairstyles) then go find this movie. It is allegedly being remade, and could really be done well, what with improved special effects. And they could reuse the little creatures from Guillermo Del Toro's Don't be Afraid of the Dark. This economy is hard on all of us.
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| There's nothing under your bed, trust me, I was just there... |
Don't Go to Sleep
Last up is a little gem I saw on vhs back when my mom babysat like every kid in the neighborhood. Between this and Old Yeller, the tape was probably personally worn out by moi. In DGTS, we find a typical family starting over after the loss of their eldest daughter, Jenny. They are moving out of L.A. and into grandma's (Ruth Gordon, love her in this) house in the country. Which appeared to be the outskirts of L.A.? I think Aaron Spelling confused suburbs for country. For younger daughter Mary, however, all is not well, as she is soon plagued by noises and general creepiness each night. Is it Jenny? Is it life in an old house? Or is Mary experiencing a psychotic break? What we know for sure is, people are dropping like flies around Miss Mary. It's not super scary, but the suspense is there, and in my opinion, pretty good for a tv movie from 1982. I have seen this on Youtube (you have to watch it in 10 minute chunks last I looked) but it's worth a look if you like a little bit of psychological suspense with your ghost stories.
I'm considering a part two to this post, maybe worst of scary movies (ahem, Eyes of Fire) or possibly more of the horror flicks I have known and loved. Off to think about this some more!
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