Just to preface this- I'm writing this in the spirit of total honesty, keepin it real, being true to myself. To not admit failure would be doing myself a disservice, and I'm not particularly good at or comfortable with lying. That said, I suck at dieting, am terrible at change, and feel like a failure.
Today could have been great. Instead, I'm writing this, admitting how far below ideal I came. Instead of going to bed at a decent hour, I was still awake when 5, 6, 7am rolled around. And I hadn't actually had the allowable snack since before midnight. By 6 I was ravnous, so I made a sandwich (should have made the breakfast shake, but wasn't feeling it.) I had my sandwich and a serving of chips. Then another. Then another. Then probably another still, I stopped counting after serving #2. Around 10am, I finally fell asleep, and woke up around 2 or 3, then continued to sleep off and on until after 5pm. It starts with simply being unable to fall asleep, then I find myself a week later, living like a vampire.
I haven't eaten at all between 6-something this morning and about 7:10pm. And frankly I don't feel like cooking rice or chicken or eating salad. It's frozen chimichangas, because as far as today's concerned, I've thrown in the towel.
Tomorrow will be different. For starters, I have an appointment that I would prefer not to miss, and I'm hoping to hit the bed at a decent hour. Even if it means taking a melatonin or sleep aid (which I'm not a fan of, as they leave me unable to function for much of the following day. It's part of what got me here now.) I'm not giving up. I've just had a lousy day, that's left me exhausted after doing pretty much nothing. Tomorrow will be better. I will accept nothing less of myself.
No comments:
Post a Comment