Unhappy Birthday

Today marks two things. One, the date of my birth, and two, the day I completely stop giving one flying rat's ass about it. I'm 32, and that is apparently the year that nothing happens and few remember. Like 16 Candles, multiplied by 2 and minus Jake Ryan. The day began with wanton abandonment via the fiance, involved a mystery trip to my house by my parents that I was not even aware happened, some well wishers on facebook, and a trip to Olive Garden (grilled toscana chicken. Good stuff.)
So now I'm stuffed, sad, and swearing off birthdays. Unless you live near people you like/see regularly, have money, or are turning 1/10/16/18/21, birthdays are a crock, a sham, and I want no part of it. It's my party, and I'll wallow in misery if I want to. Minus the party. Pardon my self pity (it's possible I'm too old to feel this way; it's actuality that I don't care), but i'm going to be sad for a bit. It's also still foreign to me to not get a call from my grandma. So, allow me my meltdown and I should be good sometime around the time time travel is perfected.

Ode to 2012

Dear year,
You were a rotten sot,
You, devoid of any bon mot,
I'd like to flush you down the toilet,
Alas, I'm afraid, my plumbing...you'd spoil it.
2012, do kiss my ass,
2012, you harlot lass,
I hated you with every fiber of my being,
2012, no more of you will I be seeing.
I've never claimed to be a poet (despite what I may have said between 1994-1999), but for me personally, I hated this last year. There were high points- my sister got married, had her first child, I started the year employed and with benefits, had a working vehicle...then time passed. Cars stopped working. I stopped working. Money was scarce for most of us. Just before Christmas, our grandmother passed away (she would have been 73 this past Sunday, also my sister's 25th) and least of all, I've had a cold for nearly a week. And strange dreams, about apocalypse, demonic possession, and things that go boom in the night. And that was just last night. I blame it all on the constant near-disaster that was 2012. Hell, I'll even throw in there that 2012 sucking so much ass is why none of us got to see The Great Gatsby on Christmas day, like we were supposed to have. Parle à mon cul, 2012. Hasta la pasta and good riddance.
That said, I mourn the shortness of the holiday season. Perhaps because we always seem to wind up postponing it, so the feelings have passed, when the rest has been dragged on. I mean, Rudolph just doesn't have the same feel in January as he does in December. And don't even get me started on how I missed every hour of "24 Hours of A Christmas Story." This year, our family Christmas is Jan 20. A week before my birthday. I miss the good old days of holiday stress involving not getting all the cookies made on time, will we be late for the party at granny's house, are my warmest pajamas clean?! Having to feign holiday cheer for an extra damn month is not tops on my list of "shit I really want to do." And don't get me wrong, I adore Christmas. All the happiest memories of my childhood seem to gather between December 23-25. I'm especially fond of Christmas Eve-eve, where anticipation is highest, bonfires are being lit, fireworks purchased, and granny was still making her fudge, Mexican wedding cookies, and punch. My goodness....I could drown happily in that punch. That said, I seem to be indulging in much more bah, humbug the older I get, and the more things change.
My hopes for our upcoming holiday celebration are cookies, pizzas, pretzels dipped in chocolate, presents, holiday cartoons, butane for the heater, my cold to be long gone, all of us having the ability to be there, and poor Moo juice will finally get to open her gifts, like she was promised to do 3 days ago. And as for 2013, I hope Christmas happens WHEN IT DAMN WELL SHOULD this year, that we're all prepared, that things in general look up for all of us, and for the love of gingy, no.more.funerals. the last two years have been difficult in that regard, and I think our family deserves a break. Also, I hope to not have a cold, because seriously, this thing is rough.
Happy new year. Hope it's lovelier than you've hoped for :)

So Much For That

That job I posted about last.....not happening. Part of me is irritated as shit by this, another part very much "when one door closes, another opens," and yet another part is bothered by the lack of jobs in my line of experience, and the fact that I should have gone to school, oh, twelve years ago.

So for now, I am scouring the local job sites, hoping to find something above minimum wage, maybe with various benefits. Close to the house would be lovely. What I want to do with my life is still unclear, which is why I did not go skipping off to higher learning in August of 1999. I have ideas but lack direction. Maybe this was easier for women sixty years ago, but I don't necessarily want to go that route. I'd like to retire with some money to my name, but the way I'm going, it'll only happen if I win the lottery. So back to the drawing board, annoyed, kind of sad and confused, and really tired of being broke. I have a real problem with wanting to progress right fucking now, because most of my life has been stalled since I got out of high school. Engaged for four years, no degrees, no nice place to live, no kids...I am utterly frustrated and hoping I figure out a way to change it. Soon.

Summer So Far

Unemployment, relationship woes, non-working vehicle- so this is my summer. Let me clarify: April, I quit my job because my ovaries are bitchfaces. May, I broke up with the fiance and then convinced him we should reconsider the break. We are back together. My car overheated and stopped working on my way home from Lafayette, and hopefully will be repaired soon. I waited almost 2 months for my dad to come take a look. Mechanic dad is, in my imagination, as good as doctor dad or dentist dad or carpenter dad. If he were "mechanic-I'll never make spaghetti again in my life-here's some money for all the years you never got an allowance, aka 'all of your childhood'-I quit watching Fox News because fear mongering and lies are not cool-I have a magic box that makes appear before you any food you could ever want" dad, well, I might have to move back home. But I hate spaghetti. And Fox News. But I love my dad, and can usually count on him to maybe not agree with my food/social oddities, but understand them, because he's pretty much the same. Hell, I had to get it somewhere. I will say this- he is very odd where cheese is concerned. I am the same way with my fruits and veggies, so perhaps I should not go "ok, weirdo," next time he's all "how can you eat THAT <points to slice of Swiss cheese I'm shoving into my face gap> straight from the fridge? At least melt it first!" Ok, weirdo.

Perhaps the second biggest thing of the season for me is Pinterest. I have become a pinning fool. I'm also considering starting a Dirty and Girly Pin page, but then I would get even less done, and I have to sleep at some point. Someone mentioned if they were paid to pin, they'd be rich. I'm approaching that faux income bracket quickly myself. I think I'm over 600. If one received five dollars per pin, that'd be 3,000 dollars. I'm willing to sign up for this. Other things I am considering are a mobile beauty service (I watch too much Jerseylicious. And I would need to go to beauty school. But it's a goal!) and possibly start working towards a degree in Pre K-3 education. It is hard to get a teaching job in this area, however. And I doubt "opening a homeschool" counts or is even a good idea. But since I was about 4, I claimed I would teach kindergarten during the school year, cut hair during the summer. I keep going back to those two, possibly because Vet school is 8 years total. And I would like to finish before I'm 40.

The biggest of all.....my newest niece! Kaitlyn Elizabeth, born July 8. She was not due to meet us until August 4, but she decided earlier was better. Hopefully she keeps that in her little bag of virtues; my mother is late to everything but work and dessert. This has somewhat trickled down to my sister and me. The day we show up to Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner before everyone has eaten is record-shattering. Kaitlyn, our little early bird, is also the first July baby in a while for the family. She is sweet, calm, smiley, intrigued by whatever may be going on around her, and completely photogenic. I don't say this as any sort of bitchy remark, but babies are not generally a pretty lot. Unless you find raisins and aliens pretty. There are plenty of cute babies, and I can think of one gorgeous baby (to whom I am also related, my little Brookey, sweet west-coast cousin) but Kaitlyn, she is so pretty.

And don't tell me I'm biased, this kid is clearly ready to take the world by storm. After her nap.

I am allegedly starting a new job soon, so I plan to blow most of my income on getting out of debt. And nail polish. And on the Nyx website. And books. And magazines. And probably cheese. Now I intend to look forward to fall, and hoping that it's going to be a cool one. A frigid one.
Praying for a September blizzard,
-C

Hey There

Been a minute! A lot has transpired since March, I quit my job, going through some health issues, moved back in with the fiance (gah, gah, gaaaaaaaaaaaah), and I'm trying to remain positive throughout, but I'm not the most sunshiney gal, so it's a challenge. I'm also trying to figure out which career path is the one I should finally commit to, and my former high school seems to only employ people with their heads up their asses, as they never understand me when I say "Hi, I need proof that I received my GED. It was in '99." I hear crickets. I am told "can I call you tomorrow?" and tomorrow has yet to arrive. Lots of things are pissing me off currently.

In happier news, I keep hitting up Lowes' garden department, and last time, found some decent items on sale. My biggest win was a rose bush (in gorgeous bloom!!!) for 6 dollars. Originally, it was about 15. I also got a $1 wave petunia and yellow celosia, which I might have killed. Poor little celosia :( Last bit of the haul are two bags of glads, one pink and the other a yellow and purple mix. I'm still waiting on a package from Park Seed with some more sale items, the ones I look most forward to are the green zinnias. To go with my purple ones. I love zinnias, they are the first flowers I ever successfully started from seed and transplanted (which is not necessity, they are so easy to grow!) I find myself on a purple flower kick this year, wanting to pair them with green and white. Which sounds a little Barney-esque, but they aren't grape and....Barney green....so I am not worried that my flowerbeds will look like some overly affectionate singing dinosaur.

My big household goal for the spring is to clean off the front porch. As nasty as this house is (to me), it has a lovely porch, with a swing, and is mostly screened. When we first moved in with Brian's mom, we hung out on the porch all the time. Mostly because it was more tolerable than being inside without air conditioning. And the swing. I would also like to build (or have *someone* else build, heehee), a lattice structure for my vining flowers. I have 2 kinds of morning glories, moonflower, and passion flower. I hope the mix of all these smells as good as I imagine. And I look forward to the crazy looking passion flower blooms, and the changing floral display between the early blooming morning glories and the night blooming moonflowers. I am considering putting the passion flowers in a container and putting them somewhere they can be alone, but we'll see.

I hope the house is full of flowers all summer long :) And also that I finally grow a few vegetables.