The Lo Mein Substitute You've Probably Been Missing Your Whole Life

This is a grandiose title. I'll admit it. But if you're the kind of person who thinks vegetables make a suitable substitution for pasta, read on!
You will need:
1.25 cups RAW broccoli slaw. No sauces, no nuts, nothing. Just straight up broccoli slaw
1 tsp healthy fat. I used olive oil, but coconut would be great, too
3/4 cup frozen mixed veggies (I used Bird's Eye pasta primavera mix)
Kraft Lite Toasted Sesame dressing- I used around 1-2 tsp
Heat your oil in a skillet on med-high heat. When it starts to sizzle, throw in your slaw and veggies and stir it around enough to get a decent coating of oil on everything. You can keep stirring, or you can let the mix rest for a minute or so, to get some nice color and searing action. But don't let it sit for too long! Thirty to sixty seconds should achieve the desired result. Repeat the stir-sear-stir process until you are happy with the results (about 10 minutes, you wouldn't want still frozen vegetables.) Now, drizzle on the dressing, stir again to coat, and serve up your lovely plate of stir fry!
If you are serving no other sides, I would say this serves one. But if you are having a larger meal, it should serve 2. Other options include adding some shrimp or bay scallops or imitation crab to the mix about halfway through cooking (small scallops, if that's what you go with!) Some almond slivers, water chestnuts or scallions wouldn't suck, either.
So it might not be exactly like lo mein, but it has the right elements- slightly noodly, bits of crunchy veggies, a slight hint of grease. But so, so much better!